When people talk about IVF, they usually talk about the beginning and the end.
The decision to start.
And hopefully, the baby at the finish line.
What often gets forgotten is everything that happens in between.
The waiting.
The hoping.
The overthinking.
The tears in the car after an appointment that didn't go the way you imagined.
The tiny moments of excitement that feel impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't lived through it themselves.
Recently, I sat down with Lisa on Episode 1 of Storme Diaries, where she shared her own experience of IVF, pregnancy loss and the emotional journey she navigated on her path to motherhood. Listening to her story reminded me just how much women quietly carry whilst still showing up every day.
Because although every IVF journey looks different, there are so many parts of it that women seem to experience in silence.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that IVF is simply a medical process.
Appointments.
Medication.
Scans.
Procedures.
But the reality is that it becomes emotional long before it becomes physical.
Suddenly your life revolves around dates, phone calls, results and possibilities. You find yourself analysing every symptom, reading into every feeling and trying not to get your hopes up whilst secretly holding onto them with everything you've got.
It's exhausting.
Not because you're doing anything wrong.
But because you're carrying so much.
And then there's the waiting.
Nobody warns you quite how much waiting is involved.
Waiting for appointments.
Waiting for test results.
Waiting for updates.
Waiting for answers.
Waiting to see if this time might finally be the time.
Whilst everyone else seems to be getting on with life, it can sometimes feel as though your own life is temporarily standing still.
You're moving, but somehow you're also stuck.
And that can feel incredibly lonely.
What people also don't talk about enough is the impact fertility struggles can have on relationships.
Not because the love isn't there.
But because everyone processes uncertainty differently.
One person might want to talk about it constantly, whilst the other doesn't know where to begin.
One person might feel hopeful.
The other might be terrified of being hopeful at all.
And somewhere in the middle you're both trying to protect yourselves whilst supporting each other.
There isn't a handbook for that.
Just like there isn't a handbook for grief.
Because for so many women, fertility journeys involve loss in one form or another.
Sometimes it's a failed cycle.
Sometimes it's a miscarriage.
Sometimes it's an ectopic pregnancy.
Sometimes it's simply grieving the version of your future that you imagined would look different.
The difficult thing about this kind of grief is that it often goes unseen.
The world keeps moving.
The school run still happens.
Work still needs doing.
Life continues.
Yet inside, you're carrying something incredibly heavy.
And despite all of this, there is usually one thing that continues to pull women forward.
Hope.
It's there in every appointment.
Every conversation.
Every treatment plan.
Every "maybe."
Hope can feel fragile at times, but it's also incredibly powerful.
Because even on the hardest days, it somehow finds a way of showing up.
If you're reading this whilst navigating IVF, fertility treatment or pregnancy loss, I hope you know there is no right way to feel.
You don't have to be positive all the time.
You don't have to be strong every minute of every day.
You don't have to pretend you're okay when you're not.
Some days you'll feel hopeful.
Other days you'll feel exhausted.
Most days you'll probably feel a mixture of both.
And that's completely normal.
What I took away from my conversation with Lisa was not just how resilient she is, but how many women are quietly showing that same resilience every single day without anybody realising.
Women who keep showing up.
Keep hoping.
Keep trying.
Even when things feel uncertain.
And if that's you, I hope you're giving yourself far more credit than you probably are.
“Because sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply keep going.
🤍
I recently spoke with Lisa on Episode 1 of Storme Diaries about her experience of IVF, pregnancy loss, motherhood and resilience. If you'd like to hear her story in her own words, you can listen to the full conversation here.