There are some kinds of grief that the world knows how to respond to.
People send flowers.
Cards arrive through the door.
Friends check in.
Conversations happen.
Pregnancy loss can feel different.
Not because the grief is any less real, but because so much of it happens quietly.
Often before the world has even had a chance to meet the little person you were already imagining.
The tiny future you had started creating in your head.
The names you'd secretly considered.
The milestones you'd pictured.
The life that suddenly feels as though it has been taken away before it even had a chance to begin.
And somehow, despite all of that, many women find themselves carrying this heartbreak in silence.
Trying to continue with everyday life whilst their world feels completely different.
I think one of the hardest parts about pregnancy loss is that there isn't a rule book for grief.
There is no timeline.
No right way to feel.
No point where someone can tell you that you've grieved enough and it's time to move on.
Some women want to talk about it constantly.
Others don't want to talk about it at all.
Some cry every day.
Others feel numb.
Most experience a mixture of emotions they can't quite explain.
Sadness.
Anger.
Confusion.
Guilt.
Fear.
And sometimes even loneliness, despite being surrounded by people who care.
Because unless someone has experienced pregnancy loss themselves, it can be difficult for them to understand the depth of what you're carrying.
The reality is that grief doesn't only come from losing a pregnancy.
It comes from losing the future you had already started imagining.
The baby you were already loving.
The plans you were already making.
The version of your life that suddenly looks different.
And that deserves to be acknowledged.
Something I think we don't talk about enough is how pregnancy loss can affect your confidence in your own body.
For many women, there can be feelings of betrayal, frustration or questioning.
You start wondering why.
Searching for answers.
Replaying conversations and moments in your head.
Looking for reasons where there often aren't any.
The truth is that loss is not your fault.
And whilst those feelings are completely understandable, they are not a reflection of your worth, your strength or your ability to become a mother.
Healing is a strange thing.
It rarely happens in a straight line.
Some days you feel okay.
Other days a date, a memory, a baby announcement or a photograph can bring all of those emotions rushing back when you least expect it.
And that's okay too.
Healing doesn't mean forgetting.
It doesn't mean pretending it never happened.
It simply means learning how to carry the experience with a little less weight than you did before.
Learning how to breathe again.
Learning how to smile again.
Learning how to make space for both grief and joy to exist at the same time.
Because they can.
And they often do.
If you're reading this whilst navigating pregnancy loss, I hope you know that your grief is valid.
No matter how early your loss was.
No matter how long ago it happened.
No matter how many people knew.
You are allowed to grieve.
You are allowed to feel angry.
You are allowed to feel heartbroken.
You are allowed to talk about it.
And you are allowed to heal in your own time.
Most of all, I hope you know that you are not alone.
There are so many women carrying similar stories.
Women who understand the ache, the questions, the hope and the heartbreak.
Even if it doesn't always feel like it, there is a community of women standing beside you.
Quietly cheering you on.
Holding space for your story.
And reminding you that even after loss, there can still be hope.
🤍
On Episode 1 of Storme Diaries, Lisa shared her own experience of pregnancy loss, IVF and the emotional journey that followed. Her honesty, strength and resilience inspired this article, and if this topic resonates with you, I encourage you to listen to her story in her own words.