Trying to conceive after pregnancy loss is one of the loneliest, most emotional chapters a woman can walk through. Every cycle carries hope and fear in equal measure, and every symptom feels loaded with meaning. You want it so badly, and you're terrified of going through it all again.
The Grief That Doesn't Fit In A Box
Miscarriage and baby loss don't follow a neat timeline. One day you feel ready to try again, and the next you're crying in the supermarket because someone announced their pregnancy on Instagram. Both feelings are valid. Both are part of grief.
You don't have to be "over it" to start trying again. You don't have to be healed. You just have to be honest with yourself about where you are.
The Two Week Wait Hits Different After Loss
The two week wait after loss is a completely different beast. Every twinge sends you spiralling. Every trip to the bathroom feels like a countdown. And even a positive test, when it finally comes, doesn't bring the same joy it once did — because now you know how quickly things can change.
“"Pregnancy after loss isn't nine months of joy. It's nine months of holding your breath."
What Actually Helped Me
🤍 Letting myself grieve without a deadline 🤍 Speaking to my GP about what happened and what tests were available 🤍 Finding a small community of women who understood 🤍 Journalling the days I felt hopeful AND the days I didn't 🤍 Reminding myself that hope and fear can coexist
When You Do Get That Positive Again
It won't feel the way you thought it would. You might not feel excited. You might not feel anything at all. That doesn't make you a bad mum or an ungrateful person. It makes you someone who's already lost, and who's protecting her heart the only way she knows how.
Be gentle with yourself. Tell someone you trust. Let them hold the hope for you until you're ready to hold it yourself.
You Are Not Alone
So many women are walking this exact path in silence. If this is you, please know your grief is real, your fear is real, and your longing is real. And so is the strength it's taking to keep going.
Storme x