Every year there's a week in late October when I notice it.
The clocks go back. Pick-up happens in the dusk. The lamps are on by half four, and somewhere between bath time and bedtime I realise I've felt a bit flat for days without quite knowing why.
Not sad, exactly. Just heavier. Slower. Shorter-fused. Craving toast like it's a personality trait.
I'm Chelsea, this is Storme Diaries, and today I want to talk about the winter blues: why the dark months can hit mums so hard, and what actually helps when the light runs out before the to-do list does.
What The Winter Blues Actually Feel Like
For a lot of us, it creeps in quietly.
You're more tired than usual, even when you've slept. Getting up feels like wading through treacle. You lose interest in things you normally enjoy. Little things that wouldn't bother you in June suddenly feel enormous.
You might find yourself sleeping longer, wanting carbs and comfort food, cancelling plans because the sofa is calling, or snapping at the people you love most and feeling awful afterwards.
And because you're a mum, you just keep going. School run, packed lunches, bedtime, repeat. You tell yourself everyone is tired. Everyone is busy. It's just winter.
“"Feeling flat in the darker months isn't you being dramatic or ungrateful. Your body and mind are responding to real changes in light and routine."
Why It Can Hit Mums Harder
Less daylight affects all of us. But motherhood has a way of turning the volume up.
In the summer, the light does some of the work for you. Long evenings in the garden. Spontaneous park trips. Kids burning off energy outside while you catch your breath.
In winter, the house shrinks. Everyone's inside, everyone's loud, and the days blur into a loop of coats, wellies, snacks and screens.
You often see the daylight only through the windscreen on the school run, or through the window while you're doing the washing up.
Add the build-up to Christmas, the bugs that do the rounds every term, broken sleep, and the mental load of making every season feel magical for everyone else, and it's no wonder so many mums feel their tank running low.
Winter Blues Or Something More?
There's a difference between a bit of seasonal low mood and something that needs proper support.
Seasonal affective disorder, often called SAD, is a type of depression that follows a seasonal pattern and is usually worse in the winter months. It's more than feeling a bit meh. It can affect your sleep, your appetite, your energy, your relationships and your ability to get through the day.
If your low mood is persistent, if you've stopped enjoying almost everything, if you feel hopeless, or if it's affecting how you look after yourself or your family, please don't just push through until spring. Talk to your GP. You deserve support now, not in March.
And if you have a baby or you're pregnant, mention it to your health visitor or midwife too. Low mood around pregnancy and the first year after birth deserves extra care, whatever the season.
Chase The Light Wherever You Can
This sounds almost too simple, but it's the thing that helps me most.
Get outside in daylight, even for ten minutes. Walk the long way back from drop-off. Drink your morning coffee on the doorstep in your coat. Push the buggy round the block at lunchtime instead of scrolling.
Even on grey days, being outside gives you far more light than sitting indoors.
Inside, open the curtains as soon as you're up, sit near a window when you can, and keep the house bright and warm when the evenings close in. Some people find a light therapy lamp helps too. If you're thinking about one, it's worth having a chat with your GP first, especially if you have any eye conditions or take medication.
Move Your Body (Gently Counts)
I'm not about to tell you to start 5am bootcamps in the frost.
But movement genuinely helps mood, and it doesn't have to be impressive. A brisk walk on the school run. A kitchen disco with the kids. Ten minutes of stretching on the living room floor while someone climbs on you.
Do the version that fits your actual life, not the one on Instagram.
Keep A Bit Of Rhythm
Darker mornings and evenings can throw everyone's body clock off, especially in the week the clocks change.
Try to keep getting up and going to bed at roughly the same times. Eat proper meals as well as the toast. Batch-cook something warm on a good day so a bad day doesn't end in cereal for tea (although sometimes it will, and that's fine).
Routine isn't about being rigid. It's about giving your tired brain fewer decisions to make.
Plan Small Things To Look Forward To
Winter can feel like one long tunnel to Christmas, then another long tunnel to spring.
So break it up. A coffee with a friend on a Thursday. A film night with blankets. A Saturday walk somewhere new. A bath that nobody is allowed to interrupt.
They don't need to be big. They just need to be yours, and in the diary, so they actually happen.
Don't Hibernate From Your People
When we feel low, we pull away. I'm the queen of the "sorry, can't make it, we're all knackered" text.
But isolation tends to make the winter blues heavier. Reply to the group chat. Say yes to the playdate, even if you're in leggings. Tell one person you trust that you're finding things hard at the moment.
You might be surprised how many mums say, "Oh my God, me too."
Be Kinder To Yourself Than You Feel Like Being
Winter is a slower season. Nature knows it. We're the only ones who expect ourselves to run at summer speed in the dark.
So lower the bar where you can. Simpler dinners. Fewer plans. More early nights. Less guilt about the extra screen time on a wet Tuesday.
Rest isn't you giving up. It's you getting through.
When To Reach Out
If you're struggling, please don't wait until you're at breaking point.
Speak to your GP, health visitor or a trusted friend. If you ever feel unable to cope, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, you can call Samaritans any time, day or night, on 116 123 for free. If you're in immediate danger, call 999.
Asking for help in the winter is exactly as brave and as sensible as asking for help in the summer.
What I Want You To Know
If you feel yourself dimming a little when the clocks go back, you are not weak, lazy or ungrateful.
You're a person whose world has just got darker, colder and busier all at once.
Look for the light, in every sense. Get outside when you can. Keep your people close. And let this season be a softer one.
Spring always comes back round. Until then, lamps on, kettle on, and be gentle with yourself. 🕯️🤍