For the longest time, I thought I was just tired.
You know the kind of tired that comes with motherhood.
The broken sleep.
The early mornings.
The nursery bugs.
The endless cycle of washing, tidying, snacks and trying to remember where you've left your coffee for the fourth time that day.
I thought feeling exhausted was simply part of the job description.
And to some extent, it is.
Motherhood is tiring.
But I've come to realise there's a difference between being tired and being burnt out.
Tiredness Versus Burnout
Tiredness usually passes.
A good night's sleep helps.
A quiet morning helps.
A break helps.
Burnout feels different.
It's deeper.
Heavier.
It's the feeling of running on empty whilst still trying to give everyone around you everything they've asked for.
It's waking up already overwhelmed.
It's feeling emotionally exhausted by things that wouldn't normally bother you.
It's feeling guilty for wanting five minutes alone and then feeling guilty when you get it.
It's carrying so much for so long that you stop noticing how heavy it's become.
More Common Than We Realise
I think mum burnout is something far more women experience than we realise.
We just don't always call it that.
We say we're stressed.
Busy.
Overwhelmed.
Struggling.
But underneath it all, many of us are simply exhausted from constantly being needed.
Motherhood Doesn't Really Stop
Because motherhood doesn't really stop.
Even when you're sitting down, your brain isn't.
You're thinking about appointments.
School forms.
Birthday presents.
Dinner.
Whether your child seems happy.
Whether you're doing enough.
Whether you're doing too much.
Whether you're somehow getting it all wrong.
It's relentless.
And I think that's why so many mums quietly reach a point where they feel completely depleted.
Living In A Loop
If I'm being honest, I've had moments where I've felt it too.
Not because I don't love being a mum.
I absolutely do.
But there are days where the repetition feels overwhelming.
Days where I've packed the same bags, prepared the same snacks, cleaned the same mess and followed the same routine so many times that I feel like I'm living in a loop.
Wake up.
Breakfast.
Nursery.
Work.
Dinner.
Bath.
Bedtime.
Repeat.
And whilst there is comfort in routine, there are also moments where it can leave you feeling as though you've lost sight of yourself somewhere along the way.
Having Something That's Yours
For me, one of the biggest lessons has been recognising how important it is to have something outside of motherhood.
Something that's mine.
Something that reminds me that whilst motherhood is a huge part of who I am, it isn't the only part.
That's one of the reasons Storme Diaries means so much to me.
It's creative.
It's challenging.
It's exciting.
It's something that belongs to me.
And every time I sit down to record an episode, write an article or work on the next idea, I can almost feel parts of myself waking back up again.
I genuinely believe we become better mums when we continue nurturing ourselves too.
Not because we're selfish.
Because we're human.
And humans need purpose, connection and fulfilment.
We Wait Too Long
The problem is that so many of us wait until we're completely exhausted before we acknowledge we need support.
We wait until we're overwhelmed.
Until we're emotional.
Until we're running on fumes.
As mums, we're often so focused on looking after everyone else that we forget we're allowed to need looking after too.
Healing Starts Small
Sometimes healing from burnout doesn't require a huge life change.
Sometimes it starts much smaller than that.
It starts with asking for help.
Taking the bath.
Going for the walk.
Meeting the friend.
Saying no to something.
Taking ten minutes to drink your coffee whilst it's still hot.
Doing something purely because it makes you happy.
Not because it's productive.
Not because it benefits anyone else.
Simply because it fills your cup a little.
Expecting Less Of Yourself
I've also learned that healing isn't always about doing more.
Sometimes it's about expecting less from yourself.
Giving yourself permission to stop trying to be everything to everyone all of the time.
Accepting that some days are survival days.
Accepting that good enough really is good enough.
Accepting that your children don't need a perfect mum.
They just need you.
The version of you that is trying.
Showing up.
Loving them.
Doing her best.
A Reminder For The Hard Days
I think that's something we all need reminding of occasionally.
Especially on the hard days.
Especially when the mental load feels heavy.
Especially when you're questioning whether you're doing enough.
Because the truth is, most mums are carrying far more than anyone else can see.
And they're doing an incredible job.
You're Not Failing
If you're feeling burnt out right now, I hope you know that you're not failing.
You're not weak.
And you're certainly not alone.
You might simply be carrying too much for too long without enough support.
And perhaps the first step towards healing is recognising that.
Being honest about it.
Talking about it.
And giving yourself the same kindness you so freely give to everyone else.
“"Because you deserve that too."
🤍