Nobody quite prepares you for the emotional whiplash of returning to work after maternity leave. One day you're in leggings and covered in porridge, and the next you're in a meeting trying to remember how to speak in full sentences whilst pumping in the disabled toilet.
The Guilt Nobody Warns You About
The guilt hits before the first day. Guilt for going back. Guilt for wanting to go back. Guilt for missing your baby. Guilt for enjoying an uninterrupted cup of coffee. Guilt for the nursery drop-offs. Guilt for pretending you're fine when you're not.
You are not a bad mum for going back to work. You are not a bad mum for enjoying it. You are not a bad mum for finding it hard. All of these things can be true at the same time.
The Logistics Are Brutal
The mental load of returning to work is a full-time job in itself — sorting childcare, working out drop-off and pick-up logistics, remembering to send in a spare change of clothes, keeping an eye on nursery fees, managing sickness cover, and somehow still doing your actual paid job.
“"You're not struggling because you can't cope. You're struggling because the system asks women to do the impossible and then makes them feel bad for finding it hard."
The First Few Weeks
The first two weeks back are usually the hardest. Everyone gets sick. You'll cry at your desk at least once. You'll doubt every decision. And then, slowly, you'll find a rhythm. It might not be the rhythm you had before, but it will be yours.
What Actually Helped Me
🤍 Doing a phased return if my employer allowed it 🤍 Batch cooking on a Sunday to survive weeknights 🤍 A shared family calendar with my partner 🤍 Being very clear about pumping breaks and boundaries at work 🤍 Getting into bed by 9:30pm on work nights without guilt 🤍 Reminding myself this season doesn't last forever
Your Career Isn't Over
Motherhood doesn't end your career. Sometimes it changes it. Sometimes it clarifies it. Sometimes it makes you realise the job you had before doesn't fit the woman you are now. All of that is allowed.
To The Mum Reading This On Her First Day Back
You are doing something hard. You are showing your child what a strong, capable, working woman looks like. And when you pick them up tonight, they won't have loved you any less for being gone.
Storme x