One of the things I've learned through Storme Diaries is that life rarely gives us the luxury of dealing with one thing at a time.
There isn't a pause button.
There isn't a week off from motherhood whilst you process something difficult.
There isn't a magical window where life stops long enough for you to catch your breath.
Sometimes you're grieving whilst still packing lunchboxes.
Crying whilst folding washing.
Heartbroken whilst helping with homework.
And somehow, you keep going.
It's something I've thought about a lot since speaking with Jaye North on Episode 2 of Storme Diaries.
Jaye shared her experience of losing her mum to cancer whilst preparing to welcome her fifth child into the world. Listening to her speak so openly about that chapter of her life left a lasting impression on me.
Because whilst I have been fortunate enough not to experience that kind of loss personally, hearing stories like Jaye's makes you realise how many women are carrying grief whilst still showing up every single day for the people who need them.
Life Keeps Moving
As mums, we become very good at putting one foot in front of the other.
Children don't stop needing breakfast because you're having a difficult day.
The nursery run still needs doing.
The school uniform still needs washing.
The bedtime story still gets read.
Life keeps moving.
And in many ways, that's both a blessing and a challenge.
A Blessing And A Challenge
I imagine there must be days where the routine helps.
Days where having something to focus on feels comforting.
Where tiny hands pulling you back into the present stops your mind from wandering too far.
But I also imagine there are days where it feels exhausting.
Where all you want is space to sit with your thoughts, yet somebody is asking for a snack, a drink, help finding a toy or whether dinosaurs wear pyjamas.
Because children don't understand grief the way adults do.
They simply need you.
And so many parents continue showing up whilst carrying heartbreak that nobody else can see.
The Expectation That Life Continues
I think that's what makes this particular kind of grief so difficult.
Not just the loss itself.
But the expectation that life somehow continues around it.
That you're still a parent.
Still a partner.
Still an employee.
Still responsible for everyone and everything around you.
Even when your own world feels completely different.
Grief And Love Sit Side By Side
One thing I took away from my conversation with Jaye was how closely grief and love seem to sit alongside one another.
The sadness exists because the love was so great.
The loss hurts because the relationship mattered.
And whilst grief may soften over time, that love never really goes anywhere.
It shows up in memories.
In stories.
In traditions.
In little things you catch yourself doing that came from them.
Sometimes it even shows up in the way we parent our own children.
A phrase your mum used to say.
A meal your dad always cooked.
A lesson they taught you years ago that somehow finds its way into your everyday life.
They're gone, but pieces of them remain.
And perhaps that's one of the most comforting things of all.
Permission To Not Always Be Okay
I think we also need to give ourselves permission to not always be okay.
Especially as women.
Especially as mums.
We're often so focused on looking after everyone else that we forget we're allowed to need support too.
We're allowed to talk.
We're allowed to cry.
We're allowed to admit that something hurts.
And we're allowed to ask for help.
Because strength isn't pretending everything is fine.
Strength is being honest when it isn't.
Be Gentle With Yourself
If you're currently navigating grief whilst raising children, I hope you're being gentle with yourself.
I hope you're giving yourself grace on the days that feel heavier.
I hope you're accepting support when it's offered.
And most importantly, I hope you're talking about it.
A Problem Shared
One thing I always come back to is that a problem shared really is a problem halved.
Not because the grief disappears.
Not because the loss becomes easier.
But because somebody else is helping you carry it.
Whether that's a friend.
A partner.
A family member.
A support group.
Or simply somebody who understands.
We were never meant to do life completely alone.
And that includes the difficult parts too.
You Are Not Walking This Alone
Because whilst grief may feel incredibly isolating, the truth is there are so many people quietly walking a similar path.
People who understand.
People who care.
People who will sit beside you whilst you find your way through it.
“"Some of the most powerful healing happens when we stop carrying things by ourselves."
🤍