Before becoming a mum, I thought friendships were important.
After becoming a mum, I realised they were essential.
Because motherhood has a funny way of changing almost every part of your life.
Your routines change.
Your priorities change.
Your social life changes.
Even your understanding of friendship changes.
Suddenly, the people who once met you for spontaneous drinks on a Friday night are receiving voice notes from you whilst you're unloading the dishwasher and trying to convince a toddler that socks are not optional.
Life looks different.
And naturally, so do some friendships.
Motherhood Shows You Who Your People Are
I think one of the things nobody really talks about is that motherhood has a way of showing you who your people are.
Not in a dramatic or negative way.
But in a very real way.
Some friendships grow stronger than ever.
Some surprise you.
Some become deeper.
And some quietly drift away.
At first, I found that quite difficult.
There were friendships I assumed would stay exactly the same forever.
Friendships that had been part of my life for years.
But motherhood taught me that not everyone is meant to walk every chapter of life with us.
And that's okay.
Different Paths, Different Seasons
Sometimes people drift because they're at a completely different stage in life.
They're travelling.
Building careers.
Going out on weekends.
Living a life that looks very different from yours right now.
And that's not wrong.
It's just different.
I've learned not to take it personally.
Because whilst our paths might not align in this season, it doesn't take away from the friendship we shared before.
Sometimes life simply pulls people in different directions.
And sometimes it brings new people into your life exactly when you need them.
Women Who Just Get It
One of the most unexpected gifts of motherhood has been meeting women who just get it.
Women who understand why you're running ten minutes late because someone needed a last-minute nappy change.
Women who don't care if your house is messy.
Women who can hold a conversation whilst simultaneously cutting up snacks, wiping noses and locating a missing shoe.
Women who understand the invisible mental load we all carry every day.
The appointments.
The nursery forms.
The birthday party RSVPs.
The endless planning.
The constant worrying.
The never-ending list running through your head.
There's something incredibly comforting about sitting with another mum and realising you don't need to explain yourself.
They already understand.
The Moments That Matter
Sometimes all it takes is one message.
One voice note.
One coffee date.
One playdate where the children completely trash someone's living room while the mums sit drinking lukewarm coffee and putting the world to rights.
Those moments matter more than we realise.
Because motherhood can be wonderful.
But it can also feel lonely.
Especially in those early years when your days revolve around tiny humans who need you constantly.
You can spend all day surrounded by people and still crave adult conversation.
You can spend all day giving to everyone else and still need someone to ask how you're doing.
Really doing.
A Lifeline
And that's where female friendships become such a lifeline.
They're often the people who remind us who we are outside of motherhood.
The people who encourage us when we're doubting ourselves.
The people who reassure us that we're doing a better job than we think we are.
The people who make us laugh on days when we've spent most of our morning negotiating with a three-year-old over the colour of a cup.
Women Need Women
I genuinely believe women need women.
Not because our partners aren't supportive.
Not because our families aren't wonderful.
But because there is something powerful about being understood by someone who is living a similar experience.
Someone who understands the chaos.
The guilt.
The exhaustion.
The joy.
The constant juggling act.
And perhaps most importantly, the fact that none of us really know what we're doing half the time.
We're all figuring it out as we go.
One way or another.
We're All Carrying Something
Whether you're a new mum.
A mum of five.
Trying to conceive.
Navigating loss.
Returning to work.
Or simply trying to survive another week of nursery bugs and sleep deprivation.
We're all carrying something.
We're all learning something.
And we're all doing our best.
Worth Their Weight In Gold
Which is why I think community matters so much.
Not perfect friendships.
Not huge friendship groups.
Just a few good people.
The ones who show up.
The ones who check in.
The ones who celebrate your wins and sit with you through the difficult days.
Those are the friendships that matter.
And if motherhood has taught me anything, it's that those friendships become worth their weight in gold.
🤍