If you had told me a week ago I'd be negotiating with suppliers in China and Japan one minute, and negotiating with a toddler over why we can't wear wellies to bed the next… I probably would've believed you, actually. Because somehow, this is just motherhood.
After nearly two weeks away on a business trip for an exciting new venture I've been working on behind the scenes, I finally landed home. Jet lagged, slightly delirious, emotionally overwhelmed, and carrying enough snacks in my handbag to survive a small apocalypse.
The reunion with the kids? Pure magic.
For approximately seven minutes.
Then my youngest sneezed directly into my eye while my eldest asked me 46 questions in under two minutes, and suddenly I was back in mum mode like I'd never left.
Monday was our "soft reset" day. Which sounds peaceful in theory, but actually involved packing enough supplies for the zoo as if we were trekking across Antarctica. We met up with my husband's cousin and her little one, who's the same age as my eldest — meaning there were essentially two tiny best friends running around fuelled by excitement, raisins, and absolutely no spatial awareness.
At one point I genuinely lost sight of my child for three seconds near the penguins and experienced the kind of fear that could humble even the strongest woman.
Found him shortly after trying to "help" another family unpack their picnic.
Classic.
By Wednesday and Thursday, the kids were back at nursery which meant… silence. Beautiful, suspicious silence. No one asking me for snacks I'd literally just given them. No one emotionally collapsing because their banana broke in half.
Just me, an iced coffee, my laptop, and finally getting stuck into filming podcast content for Storme Diaries.
These are the moments I crave lately — not because I don't adore motherhood, but because somewhere between the nursery runs, wiping sticky fingerprints off every surface in the house, and reheating the same cup of tea four times, I'm still trying to hold onto me too.
And I think so many mums silently feel that.
The balance is strange. One minute I'm discussing samples, suppliers, timelines and business goals… the next I'm bribing a toddler into the car seat with Mini Cheddars and a threat I absolutely won't follow through with.
Motherhood is beautiful, exhausting, chaotic, hilarious and sometimes slightly feral.
But honestly? I wouldn't change it.
Even on the loud days.
Especially on the loud days.
Because underneath the chaos is this little life we've built together — messy, imperfect, overstimulating… but full of love.
And somewhere between the jet lag and the zoo tantrums, I realised something:
Maybe we're all just trying to figure it out one coffee at a time.